We're All Simply Mad Here…

My own perception of reality… one blog post at a time.

There’s whiskey in the jar-oh…

You know it’s been a bad night when I reach for my whiskey bottle and a glass. I can hear my husband upstairs watching TV, or rather, I can hear the TV but I’m pretty sure he’s asleep. So, I’m sat here with my old friend Bushmills (a bottle of distillery reserve I bought on our honeymoon two years ago) thinking that maybe if I write this all down and get it out of my head I’ll be able to go to sleep. Alternatively I’ll drink the Bushmills until I go to sleep.

My friend L is dying. It’s not new news, we’ve known for a couple of months. Cancer, again. Fucking stupid evil disease. As a bit of back story, I lost my MIL earlier this year to cancer and watching her die will haunt me forever. It’s accelerated recently and she’s getting very weak. Tonight we all went round to her house, I assumed it was for knitting. Turns out she wanted the four of us there so we could go through and find new homes for all her crafting stuff. Sensible thing to do I grant you, give it to the crafters but there’s something soul destroying and horrible about divvying up someone’s possessions while they sit there, knowing that they are doing it because they are going to die. So the four of us put on a brave face and set to the task. It’s mostly card making stuff and I don’t do paper crafts so the other three went through it all. I sat next to L, or brought boxes or just did whatever. T and I had a chat about it when I dropped her off and we both agree that we do this because its clearly what L wants and right now our job is to make sure her last few weeks are happy. Now is not the time to show her upset and grief. Doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to sit here and drink whiskey and think about a time not so long ago when I did this. I am rational enough to know that what I am doing is starting the grieving process now. It’s a strange thing but I’ve never had someone close to me die suddenly. It’s always been cancer, always been a drawn out process.

Today started out well though. We got up late after being at T’s for her Boxing Day bash. We went into town to spend our Christmas money and my voucher for winning my works Biggest Loser challenge. So I made out like a bandit. I used my voucher and a little bit of my Christmas money to buy a bottle of my favourite perfume. I got 4 books (Kirstie’s Vintage Home, Patch by Cath Kidston, The Hobbit and The Silmarillion) and 4 new DVDs (Matrix Trilogy, Hunger Games, The Secret of Crichley Hall and Lewis Season 6). We ate at Handmade Burger and that was nice. I’m probably going to put back on all the weight I lost over the holidays but we go back on the diet in January until we’re at goal.

I’d tell you all about my Christmas but I don’t really feel in the mood to rehash the argument between my sister and I. Instead I’m going to finish my whiskey and do a bit of knitting before bed.

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Why I need a house elf…

Why is the housework never done. More to the point why do I create housework I hadn’t planned on doing today just so I can do it. Sundays are for relaxing not for running yourself ragged.

However, my bedroom is dust free, tidy, has no cups or rubbish, all the washing is done and the ironing is 2/3 done with the last load in the dryer. I should really have used my Unfuck Your Habitat app but I’ve only just remembered I have it. Never mind. I’m taking 10 minutes now then I might start 20/10 until its done or I’m done, whichever comes first.

I lost 10lbs at the weigh in on Monday and I’m due to weigh in again tomorrow morning. Last night was the craft group Christmas party so I did eat. DH says that since we’re going to be on this diet for a long time we need to be flexible with the idea that we might have to eat sometimes.

Oh well, I think the dryer is finished so I’d better go do the last of the ironing, but the bed sheets in the dryer and the last load of washing in the machine.

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All Change…

Well it’s official, the holiday season is upon us. On Saturday DH and I put up our tree…

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Sorry the picture is a little blurry, I must’ve been shaking or something. I love decorating our tree. Most of our Christmas tree decorations are from places we’ve been or have a memory tied to them somehow so it’s also a time of remembering.

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This was the view from my living room window on Sunday morning. I’ve not been home in daylight since but it’s not much better. I’m tramping around in my hiking boots in an attempt to stay warm and dry.

Yesterday was a day of highs and lows. I would have written yesterday but it took all my energy to try and stay warm, man was it cold last night. I got home and lit the wood burning stove then sat on a cushion on the hearth and waited until the cold left my bones.

Yesterday was the first weigh in since we went back on the VLCD and I lost 5kgs. I was so pleased I did a little dance right there in the room. This morning I got up and put on a pair of trousers I could barely get fastened before. They fasten fine now and I don’t make that ‘thighs-rubbing-together-whistling-noise’ when I walk which is doubly ace.

I’ve also been told that my role within my department will be changing. I’m going to be moved out of the contract buying role I’ve been doing and into an internal buying role with sole responsibility for non conformances and possibly expediting. Also helping with monitoring and improving supplier performance. It’s a good role and I’m looking forward to it. It’s also got the added advantage of getting me away from the racist, sexist pig who is currently my boss.

The lows include said boss calling me a liar because I couldn’t possibly have snow because he didn’t, this kind of genius logic doesn’t take into account his living nearly 40 miles from me.

Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it.

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In which I bemoan construction noise…

Since LSG is sometimes my blog (especially since I was invited to join an LSG is my blog group) I’ve been nudged into remembering that I have a blog and that I should probably use it.

At work, they are constructing an internal office inside what was our warehouse space. It’s means that there are internal walls gong up. It’s all happening directly outside my office. All the hammers, all the banging, all the drilling. I ended up with what felt like an almost sure and certain migraine-in-the-making. I took plenty of painkillers and the pain receded to a dull throb. Not great but an improvement. By the end of the day I was sort of like ‘the next person to make a noise is going to get seriously hurt’ but no one died.

So now I’m home and tucked up in bed feeling pretty grotty. Could be the end of the migraine or it could be because I’m in day two of the VLCD and haven’t yet gone into ketosis. According to the scales I’ve lost 2kgs in two days. I’m 10kgs away from the weight I was when we got married and 42kgs away from my goal weight. I have my outfit for my sisters wedding next August, a steampunk style corset and a long chocolate brown skirt. The outfit is intentionally small. I will wear it. DH is doing this with me so at least I’m not alone. DH has 66kgs to lose to get to his goal. I know that once I drop into ketosis I will feel better but right now I’m feeling pretty bad. We’re going on this from yesterday until the 21st December then doing two ‘packs’ and a meal in the evening through the holiday season and then back on it fully on the 3rd of January until we get to goal. We’ve got ,y sisters wedding in August for which I have my outfit and DH has his kilt, then we’re off to Florida in November… I really don’t want to end up with vasculitis again, that was really painful.

DH is out at stop smoking class tonight but he’ll be home in a little while. I’m sat up in bed, typing this and keeping myself hydrated with herbal tea and water. Also torturing myself by watching cooking programmes while I’m not allowed to eat anything. Wish I’d remembered to bring my knitting up.

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Look, I made that!

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NaBloPoMo #6 – Election Fever Grips the World!

Today I woke up in the dark of my bedroom in Scotland with a vague sense of unease. Then I remembered, today is the long awaited day for the US Elections. Now, you may be thinking, why do I feel uneasy, I’m not American, nor do I play one on TV. I am, however, a citizen of Earth and lets face it, when America does something, the rest of the world follows. If Mitt Romney wins the US elections, I swear I’m emigrating to Mars. There will be nowhere to hide from that man. If he wins and puts his policies in place he’ll put the cause of feminism back decades. While I’m not a rabid feminazi I don’t shrink away from it either. I like my ability to say what I want, do what I want, think what I like and most importantly have the rights to my own body. The BBC are calling this election a tight race, I’m wondering what the people who will vote Romney think of him and his policies. I just wonder what ‘Mom’s For Mitt’ will think when their daughters right to be the one to decide on whether they keep their baby or not is taken away? Maybe they don’t think anything. Maybe they think thats right. Maybe they also think that children conceived during the course of a rape means it couldn’t be rape as the womans body would stop it… who knows. I’m not going to sit here and call them stupid, just because their opinion is different from mine does not make it wrong.

So tonight I go walking with T then I head home, nuke something real quick and then go upstairs (my living room still looks like a disaster zone and it depresses me) and settle down to watch the election coverage on the BBC. First polling station closes 7pm GMT so we should start seeing results after that. It’ll be morning until we see the big result and the BBC thinks it might be days before the swing states are sorted.

DH has stop smoking class again tonight so I’ll be on my lonesome. He started his Champix this morning and says he is feeling positive about the whole decision to quit. I’m very proud that he kept his promise to quit this year after I did it last year.

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NaBloPoMo #5

Weather: Wet
Currently Reading: Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind
Currently Listening: Deadlocked by Charlaine Harris

Today was an okay day. My books finally arrived so I can start studying. Of course, I was a complete idiot and left my books at work. Never mind.

I got home tonight and started cleaning. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t voluntarily clean anything if I can help it but tonight I decided I wanted to bring some order to the chaos and did a major declutter of our bathroom and dusted the bedroom. The room now smells sweetly of the vanilla candle I received in a swap box and there is now order from chaos.

Tonight I made the orzo risotto from Nigella Lawson’s new book again, except this time I used half the amount of pancetta and twice the amount of peas. We had it with a marinated chicken breast I picked up from the butchers on my way home. It was really nice but also very filling, I couldn’t finish it but DH did.

Oh well, I only got 3 hours sleep last night in the end. I’m hoping for better tonight!

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NaBloPoMo #4

Sometimes I think to myself that I am not nearly as well read as my peers. An example of this would be today, there was a poll discussing uses of the English language in the wrong way that annoyed you. I pointed out that one of my big issues is with the overuse of the word literally. Another LSGer replied saying she assumed it was mostly used as a way of employing hyperbole… and my brain pretty much exploded. So off I toddled to Google (the source of and answer to all of life’s problems) to see what on earth hyperbole was and, once I’d read the definition, realised what she was saying. I suppose in a way she’s right but the overuse and incorrect use of literally still bugs me.

I guess I used up all my smarts today on this:

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I love the new lamp. It sets the dining room off nicely, is light enough for DH to study by but no so bright it’s blinding and gives a focal point without having to put pictures on the wall.

Tomorrow we start our diet again. I’ve sorted out my Sparkpeople account, linked my Fitbit account to Sparkpeople, make lunch for tomorrow and instructed DH that we’ll be getting up for breakfast before work.

Now all I have to do is go to sleep!!!

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NaBloPoMo #2

Weather: Cold and dry
Currently Reading: Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind
Currently Listening: Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness

Today has been a boring day at work and an evening of cooking.

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I’ve made Rocky Road for tomorrow night. We are going to a bonfire with my friend T and her DH. My parents are coming over tomorrow morning to swap dining tables with us. It’ll be the first time we’ve been in the same room since Dad and I fell out last week. It’ll be interesting.

My long suffering DH is stuck at work again tonight so I’m sat waiting for him to come home with our dinner. Hopefully he won’t be long.

I’m sitting waiting and listening to my audiobook with a pot of camomile tea.

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NaBloPoMo #1…

Weather: Cold and frosty
Currenty Reading: Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind
Currently Listening: Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness

The title for my blog came from my favourite cup, the one that sits on my desk at work. Its an Alice in Wonderland mug-ish thing (its one of those cups that’s like a Starbucks takeout cup but made of china instead of cardboard) that I brought back from my very first holiday to Orlando. I use this mug-ish thing every day and every single day I get a little sad when I see the great big chip in it thanks to the office dishwasher. I know it’s only a mug-ish thing but I can’t just get another one as its too far to go just for new china. My DH has managed to convince me (hell, who am I kidding, I needed no convincing) to go back to Orlando a year from now. This time we’re taking my sister who will love it as much as we did.

I know this is going to make me very unpopular but… it’s only like 7.5 weeks to Christmas. I still have gift knitting to finish and my right hand is now back in its wrist brace ’cause I decided to overknit like an idiot. I’m hoping things will calm down next week, otherwise Mum’s slippers will never get finished. On a brighter note I did get my friend T’s shawl finished before the RSI of doom hit again. I haven’t blocked it yet and will either have to wait until my hand heals or get DH to help me. On the upside its 8 weeks until my self-imposed ‘Year Of No Yarn’ comes to an end. I have requested money to buy yarn for my birthday in December which will be kept and spent in the new year,

We didn’t get any trick or treaters last night. This made me sad but made my DH very happy as he now gets to eat all the sweets I bought. I was reading Halloween threads on Ravelry today and feeling very hard done by, Halloween is huge in the US I think and I wish it was still as big over this side of the pond. I did get one treat last night though, in the fom of a text message from L. She sent me a picture of her ultrasound. She’s having a boy. I know she had her hear set on a girl but I haven’t asked her about that. I don’t know why but I get the feeling it’d just be wrong to mention it. I don’t tend to sing from the same hymn sheet as everyone else most of the time so I tend to stick my foot in my mouth quite a bit.

Anyway, tonight I go walking with T so I get to hang about for an hour after I finish work. Tonight we’re having homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for tea, this is entirely thanks to the comfort food thread on LSG yesterday!

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