We're All Simply Mad Here…

My own perception of reality… one blog post at a time.

There’s whiskey in the jar-oh…

You know it’s been a bad night when I reach for my whiskey bottle and a glass. I can hear my husband upstairs watching TV, or rather, I can hear the TV but I’m pretty sure he’s asleep. So, I’m sat here with my old friend Bushmills (a bottle of distillery reserve I bought on our honeymoon two years ago) thinking that maybe if I write this all down and get it out of my head I’ll be able to go to sleep. Alternatively I’ll drink the Bushmills until I go to sleep.

My friend L is dying. It’s not new news, we’ve known for a couple of months. Cancer, again. Fucking stupid evil disease. As a bit of back story, I lost my MIL earlier this year to cancer and watching her die will haunt me forever. It’s accelerated recently and she’s getting very weak. Tonight we all went round to her house, I assumed it was for knitting. Turns out she wanted the four of us there so we could go through and find new homes for all her crafting stuff. Sensible thing to do I grant you, give it to the crafters but there’s something soul destroying and horrible about divvying up someone’s possessions while they sit there, knowing that they are doing it because they are going to die. So the four of us put on a brave face and set to the task. It’s mostly card making stuff and I don’t do paper crafts so the other three went through it all. I sat next to L, or brought boxes or just did whatever. T and I had a chat about it when I dropped her off and we both agree that we do this because its clearly what L wants and right now our job is to make sure her last few weeks are happy. Now is not the time to show her upset and grief. Doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to sit here and drink whiskey and think about a time not so long ago when I did this. I am rational enough to know that what I am doing is starting the grieving process now. It’s a strange thing but I’ve never had someone close to me die suddenly. It’s always been cancer, always been a drawn out process.

Today started out well though. We got up late after being at T’s for her Boxing Day bash. We went into town to spend our Christmas money and my voucher for winning my works Biggest Loser challenge. So I made out like a bandit. I used my voucher and a little bit of my Christmas money to buy a bottle of my favourite perfume. I got 4 books (Kirstie’s Vintage Home, Patch by Cath Kidston, The Hobbit and The Silmarillion) and 4 new DVDs (Matrix Trilogy, Hunger Games, The Secret of Crichley Hall and Lewis Season 6). We ate at Handmade Burger and that was nice. I’m probably going to put back on all the weight I lost over the holidays but we go back on the diet in January until we’re at goal.

I’d tell you all about my Christmas but I don’t really feel in the mood to rehash the argument between my sister and I. Instead I’m going to finish my whiskey and do a bit of knitting before bed.

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Why I need a house elf…

Why is the housework never done. More to the point why do I create housework I hadn’t planned on doing today just so I can do it. Sundays are for relaxing not for running yourself ragged.

However, my bedroom is dust free, tidy, has no cups or rubbish, all the washing is done and the ironing is 2/3 done with the last load in the dryer. I should really have used my Unfuck Your Habitat app but I’ve only just remembered I have it. Never mind. I’m taking 10 minutes now then I might start 20/10 until its done or I’m done, whichever comes first.

I lost 10lbs at the weigh in on Monday and I’m due to weigh in again tomorrow morning. Last night was the craft group Christmas party so I did eat. DH says that since we’re going to be on this diet for a long time we need to be flexible with the idea that we might have to eat sometimes.

Oh well, I think the dryer is finished so I’d better go do the last of the ironing, but the bed sheets in the dryer and the last load of washing in the machine.

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All Change…

Well it’s official, the holiday season is upon us. On Saturday DH and I put up our tree…

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Sorry the picture is a little blurry, I must’ve been shaking or something. I love decorating our tree. Most of our Christmas tree decorations are from places we’ve been or have a memory tied to them somehow so it’s also a time of remembering.

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This was the view from my living room window on Sunday morning. I’ve not been home in daylight since but it’s not much better. I’m tramping around in my hiking boots in an attempt to stay warm and dry.

Yesterday was a day of highs and lows. I would have written yesterday but it took all my energy to try and stay warm, man was it cold last night. I got home and lit the wood burning stove then sat on a cushion on the hearth and waited until the cold left my bones.

Yesterday was the first weigh in since we went back on the VLCD and I lost 5kgs. I was so pleased I did a little dance right there in the room. This morning I got up and put on a pair of trousers I could barely get fastened before. They fasten fine now and I don’t make that ‘thighs-rubbing-together-whistling-noise’ when I walk which is doubly ace.

I’ve also been told that my role within my department will be changing. I’m going to be moved out of the contract buying role I’ve been doing and into an internal buying role with sole responsibility for non conformances and possibly expediting. Also helping with monitoring and improving supplier performance. It’s a good role and I’m looking forward to it. It’s also got the added advantage of getting me away from the racist, sexist pig who is currently my boss.

The lows include said boss calling me a liar because I couldn’t possibly have snow because he didn’t, this kind of genius logic doesn’t take into account his living nearly 40 miles from me.

Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it.

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